Louis Proyect: Worker’s Spatula is Actually Genius


NEW YORK – Elderly Marxist and vocal opponent of dictatorships, “especially the dictatorship of the proletariat”, Louis Proyect, has revealed that he actually supports Worker’s Spatula and hopes to be allowed to contribute in the near future.

“They’re just so insightful,” he revealed to friends. “But I can’t say so openly because it feels too much like propaganda, which we socialists must always avoid. We can of course support and use the propaganda of the US State Department.”

“Instead, I’ve been advertising them on my Facebook page to my followers, who clearly understand my circuitous methods, because they all know me and my ironic sense of humour.”

Proyect’s claims appear to be backed up by the fact that none of his Facebook friends liked his “anti-Worker’s Spatula” posts. “But just to be sure that Worker’s Spatula understood me, I told them they should emulate the generally unfunny and apolitical Recep İvedik, in spite of the huge amount of hilarious political satire to be found in Turkey. This move itself draws upon the best traditions of Turkish satire: Just recently, the state television channel TRT broadcast nine uninterrupted hours of the congress of the ruling AKP. What might appear at first glance to be pro-government propaganda was actually a subtle critique of the AKP and president Erdoğan, because clearly nothing could be more detrimental to their cause than nine unfiltered hours of AKP politicians talking.”

“Anyway I hope that the exemplary comrades at Worker’s Spatula will allow me to contribute to their publication. I’ve got a lot of good jokes about how people think the Soviet Union was socialist, or about how idiotic Stalinists think the King of Saudi Arabia is worse than Assad. Thankfully real leftists like Bernie Sanders don’t think so. Which, incidentally, is why we must give him 100% support. I really think he could be the first step of the construction of an American Podemos, which is clearly what we need now. You did read about their new strategy at Worker’s Spatula, right? I support it 100%.”

Public opinion is not overwhelmingly on Proyect’s side, however. A poll of Marxists at Columbia University revealed little support for Proyect joining the Worker’s Spatula team. One Maoist postdoctoral researcher was quoted as saying “Yeah, I know Louis Proyect, he’s that guy who got into a fight at Historical Materialism and then called it Studio 54. While that was definitely pretty funny, I don’t know how good he is at writing. His blog is pretty much unreadable.”

The editorial staff, however, is slightly more open. While differences in politics and sense of humour don’t bode well for the prospect of Proyect’s joining as a full-time contributor, it is likely that his attempts at analysis from his own blog may be used for inspiration for future pieces about US Trotskyists.


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