Paid Advertisement: Anarchist Lifestyle Consulting Services

AnarchistLifestyle

Are you a hip young anarchist bent on overthrowing capitalism, the state, and all forms of oppression through the sheer force of your individual will? Have you often pondered how, given the immense importance you’ve ascribed to your own individuality, you need to work REALLY fucking hard to bring down the system all by your self?

Then come visit Anarchist Lifestyle Consulting Services! For a sliding scale fee, we’ll help you organise your life so that you can combat the capitalist state to your fullest potential without subordinating your unique self to some phony party or organisation with a dumb strategy or pointless historical analysis based on that mystical bullshit they call “dialectics”.

Among the areas of your special snowflake life we’ll help you streamline for changing the world:
-Time budgeting, so you make sure to be able to debate your professors, relatives, and suspiciously petty bourgeois friend circle proportionately. Everyone’s gotta hear about how oppressive all existing concepts are, except anarchism of course!
-Commune choice: Every real lifestyler needs a good commune. Will you go with the commune where everybody’s always fucking each other and the drama makes it impossible to get anything done, or will you go with the commune where people are so serious about their struggle that sex is basically banned? We help you decide!
-Shopping: Are you letting any of your money go to a multinational corporation just to save money, like a stupid, non-revolutionary poor person? We’ll examine your monthly spending habits and make sure you spend several times as much on the necessities of life to buttress up your delusions of extracting yourself from the system!

We’ll also help you choose music, clothes, accessories, and a reading list to give your anarchism a more personal touch. When we’re done with you, you’ll be the envy of all your hip friends! Guaranteed!

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Paid Advertisement: Anarchist Lifestyle Consulting Services

  1. Foa N.

    The “All Sex is Rape” tag belies the author’s likely actual problem with anarchism: he might be held accountable for his assaults in a world where everyone has worth and power, instead of being able to call on his party faction to isolate and harangue his victims out of the movement entirely.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 1. Our tags are chosen to get people to accidentally find us on Google based on buzzwords. They are not intended as part of our editorialising.

      2. The fact that some groups have literally implemented a slogan of “all sex is rape”, taking on a reactionary and incorrect summary of the work of Andrea Dworkin, was the reference intended there. What would be criticised is not a serious response to rape within the left (which is obviously a prerequisite), but rather that there is a marginal group of people who literally do uphold that slogan, consequently erasing the concept of consent ENTIRELY, which is also dangerous for rape victims.

      3. Nobody at Worker’s Spatula supports any party that would harangue rape victims inside or outside the party. We’re not SWP. Indeed, despite our reputation for being evil Stalinists, our first criticism of SWP is the exact behaviour to which you refer, and not their Trotskyism.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. What groups have implemented the slogan “all sex is rape” and why haven’t you written a post extolling their proletarian virtues?

        Like

      2. Individual anarchist cells were mocked by this piece. However, hitting closer to home theoretically (although none of us are Maoists or third worldists, our main target is nonsense by other self-described Marxists), you’re right that we should probably write something about the disaster that is the MIM in the US. Henry Park both held that “all sex is rape”, and also faced rape allegations himself.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s