Turkish State to Render Worker’s Spatula Obsolete

TerroristKahlo

ISTANBUL – The Turkish state continues its campaign to render Worker’s Spatula irrelevant in the Turkish context by outdoing in real practice the absurd fantasies of the Worker’s Spatula writing team.

In a well-known incident last March 8th, six women from the Kurdish women’s movement were charged with displaying banners with women who were assumed to be “members of [the PKK]” on them, but were in fact Clara Zetkin and Rosa Luxemburg. In a similar incident, two members of TÖPG, the militant communist organisation which now controls the de facto People’s Republic of Hatay, were just apprehended as they got off a bus in Istanbul for possession of a cell phone displaying the image of known terrorist leader Frida Kahlo.

An employee of the bus company had reported to the police that a woman with a suspicious cellphone cover was on the bus, immediately resulting in a “terror warning”. What happened next is not exactly clear, but Worker’s Spatula was able to acquire the following information: The cellphone cover in question was indeed a picture of Frida Kahlo. Some media outlets reported that she was taken to be a member of ISIS, and others reported that she was understood to be a Kurdish guerrilla of some sort. We are to assume that the Turkish state does not know the difference between the two, particularly given their repeated statements to this effect.

Further, the heroic bus company employee alerted the authorities that the TÖPG members in question were both foreigners, who confusingly spoke fluent Turkish, but also some strange and therefore hostile language. Given that literally all of TÖPG’s members are Alawite Arabs, this language must have been Arabic, but what are you going to do, you know?

Seriously, we are just reporting real news from Turkey at this point and it sounds like satire. What are we supposed to do with this?

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