Sanders Ownership of Slaves Possible Con for Black Voters


ATLANTA, GEORGIA – Polls across the Black Belt South imply that Democratic candidate and self-described “social democrat” Bernie Sanders’s chances among black voters may be hurt by his reputation as a cruel taskmaster on the cotton plantation which he owns in rural Georgia, on which he owns several dozen African humans as chattel.

Sources within the Sanders camp have confirmed that Sanders understands that his plantation is controversial among Black voters, but is unsure if he’s prepared to sell it at this point in the race.

Also controversial is Sanders’s opposition to women’s suffrage and insistence that his wife is his literal property, not on Biblical grounds, but based on his readings of Max Stirner.

At press time, Atlanta-based rapper Killer Mike defended Sanders on the grounds that Hillary Clinton also owns slaves, and nobody makes a big deal out of that.


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