NCP-LC Breaks Up

Unite

NEW YORK – As is now known by Marxists around the world, the NCP-LC has broken up. The purported reason for the disintegration of the group was improper handling of women’s issues. However, were this the core issue, the answer would be to have most offending cadres engage in serious self-criticism with the aim of a higher unity with woman comrades, to purge those cadres who are beyond rectification, and to strengthen mechanisms within the organisation which empower women cadres. The rapid disintegration of the “liaison committee” is motivated by a more embarrassing problem.

Our reporter on the ground in New York spoke to several former NCP-LC cadres about the issue on condition of anonymity, and the answer was unanimous: Carlos Rivera-Jones’s embarrassing public criticism of Worker’s Spatula brought such disrepute to the organisation among the anti-revisionist movement in English-speaking countries which Worker’s Spatula effectively leads that there was no way any organisation could survive the damage to its reputation that such a statement would bring about.

“Fuck Carlos,” said [REDACTED 1] as he took a drag of his Newport menthol cigarette, the cigarette of choice for anti-revisionists in the US. “Couldn’t keep your big fucking mouth shut, could you? Now there ain’t no NCP-LC and it’s all that motherfucker’s fault.”

“I was all, ‘Was it worth it, Carlos? You got enough likes from fuckin’ Trots? And for what? You stickin’ up for Bob Avakian now?’, shit…” recounted [REDACTED 2], agreeing to meet us on the side of Union Square where leftists never meet, so as to avoid being accidentally overheard by her former comrades.

“I thought about joining the Maoist Communist Group over this shit.” admitted [REDACTED 3]. “Like, the situation is that bad right now. I just want to disappear. The shame of being associated with not getting the joke of a Worker’s Spatula piece is too great.”

FRSO (the Black Lives Matter one, not the wannabe ROL one) responded to our request for an interview on the condition that we buy a bunch of fucking buttons, like some sort of street punk anarchists who dive in dumpsters, instead of the dignified graduate school educated Marxists who get free food by crashing people’s events that we are.

“Now that there’s no more NCP-LC, we figure it’s time for us to make another attempt at taking New York. But just to be safe, we’re going to employ security to protect us from Tafadar. You never know what that fucker’ll do. He’s probably more dangerous without the organisation to keep him in check than he was before.”

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9 thoughts on “NCP-LC Breaks Up

  1. What is ROL?

    Also, you overlooked an important part of this story — the complete vindication of the line of New Communist Party (Organizing Committee) now renamed “Maoist Communist Group” over the Menshevik-roaders of the NCP-LC who have now icepicked themselves just as the British unorthodox Trotskyist Cliffites did a few years ago supposedly over the same issues.

    But the most important part of the NCP-LC’s ignominious self-destruction is this: Workers’ Spatula is clearly and indisputably the invincible weapon of the proletariat that mercilessly scrapes all opportunists and paper tiger pseudo-revolutionary trends off of Facebook before flinging them into dustbin of history.

    Hurrah Workers’ Spatula!!!!!!1!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Cde Carlos Rivera-Jones’s embarrassing public self criticism shows a contemptuous failure to grasp that Communism is not love: Communism is a hammer which we use to crush the enemy.

    The sooner he disappears the better.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ex-NCP-LC cadres showed up on our Facebook wall to suggest we had done “no investigation” but then in the same post admitted that the entire group disbanded to punish the leadership. If your side in a dispute had hegemony in the organisation but you had to disband the group over the dispute, this doesn’t make you more “decent” than MLs or Trots (and the Trot group that NCP-LC bears the most resemblance to is the UK SWP, most Trot groups, like most ML groups, deal with such matters much more efficiently than the NCP-LC did), it simply means your organisation was less… organised.

      What’s odd is that many of their heroes in the international Maoist movement were born out of violent splits in other organisations where the Maoists in question were NOT hegemonic in the groups in question (by their own admission), and they still self-criticised for having split “prematurely” rather than making every effort to salvage the prior organisation (whether the result would’ve been a takeover of the organisation by the more revolutionary cadres or a split with more cadres having been won over to their side is irrelevant). Yet they consider themselves the most revolutionary for having totally abandoned an organisation that they were apparently the majority in.

      This confirms the claims by our US people that:
      A) Groups like NCP-LC are short-lived pseudo-revolutionary groups made of confused young people who don’t understand how to build a revolutionary organisation (these are also common in Western Europe but are less noteworthy there because of the more advanced level of struggle in countries like Germany, which causes such organisations to be overshadowed by larger groups with more influence on day to day politics). Members of multiple Turkish groups we consulted confirmed that this would never happen in Turkey, not because there are no abuse scandals, but because it would be unthinkable to deal with them by liquidating the organisation to punish a single abuser and a handful of defenders (indeed, it was claimed that this reeked not only of a weak women’s section but of a guilty conscience on the part of many man cadres).
      B) Many US leftist organisations are principally built around “personalities” rather than cohesive relationships with the masses and democratic centralism.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. So NCP-LC disbanded because the rank-and-file could not overthrow General Secretary Carlos Rivera-Jones at a party congress and put him before a firing squad? It appears our original assessment that NCP-LC was made up of paper tigers has been born out and the following profound Marxist-Leninist truth has been confirmed:

        WORKERS SPATULA AIN’T NOTHIN’ TO FUCK WITH!

        Liked by 2 people

    2. Breaking News: NCP-LC’s main competitor in internet Maoism, Kasama Project (KP), collapsed not long after Worker’s Spatula swatted NCP-LC into oblivion.

      Sources say either KP GenSec Mike Ely was arrested by the F.B.I. and sent to Guantanamo because he was such a threat to American capitalism or… he just too old and tired to write grandiose Mao-style missives.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ely surely has the time but what he lacks is the energy. Most likely this is because it finally dawned on him that the next generation of Bob Avakians like comrade John McDonnell’s Kalashnikov will never write books with entitled Mike Ely’s Immortal Contributions.

        Liked by 1 person

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