Worker’s Spatula Now Convinced Turkey is a Bourgeois Democracy

Beheading

ANKARA – Following what is variously being described as a massively unsuccessful coup and a false flag attack designed to help consolidate the executive power around Erdoğan and his AKP (the objective result of the coup in any event), Worker’s Spatula correspondents have been forced to reevaluate their previous analysis of Turkey as a fascist dictatorship.

“After the ruling government responded to the loss of the June elections last year by embarking on a scorched earth campaign in Kurdistan, giggling at press conferences held to discuss whether or not the public bombing of opposition rallies constituted a lapse in security, and arresting mainstream liberal reporters for speaking out against them, the question was naturally on the table again: Is Turkey a bourgeois democracy or is there a state of fascism with which we have to contend?” said [REDACTED 1], our most reliable person in Ankara.

“But after the coup attempt last night, I think it’s pretty clear that the fascism thesis doesn’t pan out. If the coup fails, the democratically elected government stands, and if there’s a democratically elected government, bourgeois democracy must be functioning.”

A correspondent in Istanbul, [REDACTED 2], agreed: “The handling of the coup was exactly as I would’ve expected in my home country of France: With mosques blasting the call to prayer at an ungodly hour to wake the people up so they can defend democracy with beheadings.

“Fitting it should happen so close to Bastille Day, honestly.”

With Erdoğan’s bourgeois democratic credibility now confirmed, many in our ranks are expressing regret:

“I spent so long making fun of Erdoğan for his claims of ‘advanced democracy’, and now I see he was right. Turkey is not a fascist semi-colony, but a completely independent and bourgeois democratic country.

“There’s nothing left for it but for us to all give our self-criticism and unite with TKİP.”

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