Communist Going Around House Party and Asking Everyone “Have You Considered the Class Implications?”

ASpectreIsHauntingThisHouseParty

MELBOURNE – Local communist and Masters student in Philosophy Alex Sterlitz is reported to be walking quietly between chatting groups at a Melbourne house party and jumping into any conversation with the sentence “Good point, but have you considered the class implications?”

“Christ, I suppose I hadn’t,” replied Sandy Nelson, brother of the host of the party. “But now that you mention it, I suppose class does play a significant role.”

“He really made me think about the educational gap between me and my neighbour, who I’ve been arguing about refugees with. It doesn’t excuse his racism, but it made me rethink the way I’ve been presenting the problem to him, which may have been a bit elitist,” Nelson informed the local Worker’s Spatula correspondent at the party, shortly after the encounter.

Metres away and seconds later, Sterlitz struck again: “Good point, but have you considered the class implications?”

Anita Robinson, a friend of the host from their cycling group, and her co-worker Sharon, didn’t seem to appreciate Sterlitz’s attempts at raising class consciousness. “We were talking about how our boss at the fast food restaurant where we work can’t go one day without ‘accidentally’ handling one of our arses, and what a sexist prick he is,” Robinson informed our correspondent, taking a sip of her beer. “Then this guy showed up out of nowhere and told us how we were absolutely right, but that we also need to consider class as a factor.”

“He said we have to employ class analysis to get a fuller picture of the power structures of our workplace,” added her co-worker Sharon. “So, basically, he told us that our boss is the one who runs the place, and we do all the work. Then he just said ‘Socialism!’, and walked away.”

But Sterlitz had not yet finished with his quest to raise the class consciousness of partygoers. He approached the duo of Eric Li and Dave King, standing by a clearly rarely played piano in the corner: “Good point, but have you considered the class implications?”

“Pardon me?” asked King, visibly confused.

“The class implications, have you considered them?” asked an unshaken Sterlitz.

“Of what?” asked Li.

“The… what were you two talking about?”

“I was saying I didn’t like Suicide Squad, and Dave was saying he liked it.”

As of press time, Sterlitz had left the house party, declaring it “thoroughly bourgeois”.

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