BERLIN – Visiting Worker’s Spatula correspondents were shocked to discover from local sources that Germany may have been the country responsible for World War II, and possibly the Nazi Holocaust.
An emergency meeting was called in which local German Worker’s Spatula correspondents were asked to defend themselves from the charges: “Well, technically contradictions of capital and imperialism caused World War II, but it is true that…”
“PURGED!” interrupted a US correspondent in attendance, leaping onto the table and gesturing with his fist quite Stalinistly. “You Germans are all purged from Worker’s Spatula for your families’ role in the Nazi Holocaust, a crime almost as great as the formation of the so-called ‘Fourth International’!”
“Now hold on a minute!” one of the Germans responded nervously. “You lot did Bush! And the English did Blair! The English invented Trotsky!”
“Yeah no we were out of the country at the time”, “In exile and that”, “I’m half Welsh or something”, responded the united Anglo front.
“We weren’t even born during WWII! Stefan Engel wasn’t even born!” responded another one of the perfidious Germans.
“You leave Stefan Engel out of this. He’s a Kurd now. He converted.”
“It’s true, I think all of ICOR has,” confirmed an English correspondent.
“But I’m in the MLPD! He’s in [REDACTED]! We’re in ICOR! So according to you, we’re Kurds now, so go after the other Germans!”
At press time, every German who Worker’s Spatula questioned on the street insisted that their family were “on holiday for the duration of Nazi rule”, and that they “probably have a Jewish ancestor”.