CULVER CITY, CALIFORNIA – Following ongoing discussions between the US and Turkish states with regard to anti-terrorism cooperation, the US State Department has revealed that it has long been aware that popular web series “the Young Turks” and its associated “network” constitute a front for EMEP, the Turkish “Labour Party” which upholds the line of the Albanian “Party of Labour”, itself widely suspected of being a front for the Ghost of Deniz Gezmiş.
The revelation is important not only for Turkish politics, where association of any one group to any other group is known to be the first step towards everyone involved being declared to be agents of ISIS and the PKK at the same time, but even for US citizens who may have donated to the Young Turks Network at some point, as such donations would now constitute funding of a Turkish political party by US citizens, a diplomatic issue between Turkey and the US.
In response to the controversy, host Cenk Uygur has fled the country before he could be charged with any crime. After hours in custody in which he was repeatedly tortured, presumptive Democratic nominee for President of the United States Bernie Sanders has yet to divulge any information that might aid US authorities in determining Uygur’s current whereabouts.
Chairwoman of the Young Turk Network, Ana Kasparian, is being deported back to her native Armenia, in a move determined to not be offensive at all so long as Donald Trump is not behind it. As a handcuffed Kasparian was dragged onto a flight back to Yerevan, she could be heard leading a crowd chanting “LONG LIVE THE REVOLUTION AND SOCIALISM!” in Armenian.
Approached for comment, national spokesperson for the American Party of Labor Alfonso Casal had this to say:
Obviously we stand in solidarity with all EMEP comrades regardless of the conditions. We also wish to note the double standard of the Turkish state, which claims to oppose meddling in internal affairs while nakedly acting as a pawn of US imperialism in other states in the region. Turkey has now invaded Syria, but a few socialists’ support for EMEP from abroad is the breach of some abstract and sacred national sovereignty. Give me a fucking break.
We will be raising this matter at the next Stalin Society of North America meeting to see what we can concretely do to help comrades of the Young Turks Network and EMEP to defeat this fascist-minded attack on their principled message of real democracy and socialism.
US ICOR affiliate the ROL is expected to release a statement in three months on account of their bimonthly publication being their only means of intervening in day-to-day political affairs.