NEW YORK – Responding to repeated queries as to the significance of the loss of Putin’s support, “Republican candidate for president” Donald Trump said: “Nothing, nothing. I tell ya, I tell ya, I don’t care what they say, couldn’t care less. You grab ’em by the dick or the pussy or whatever and kick ’em out, who cares? There’s only one supporter I can’t afford to lose and that’s Worker’s Spatula. They’re gonna keep the commies with us, and that’s what matters.”
For our part, Worker’s Spatula continue to reassure the public that all Trump supporters are actually secret communist infiltrators of the Republican Party bent on sharpening the contradictions through the political strategy known as “accelerationism”, a strategy we endorse and may or may not be masterminding.