WORKER’S SPATULA/TRUMP CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS – With all of his other allies having fallen in line with the interests of Wall Street and US imperialism, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has no one to rely on but the masses of accelerationist communists who have long since infiltrated the Republican campaign, led by Worker’s Spatula.
Consequently, we have begun to impose some overtly progressive propaganda in Trump’s campaign, which is of course otherwise an attempt at sabotaging the elite “democracy” of the United States.
Yes, Worker’s Spatula has instructed Donald Trump carry out propaganda aimed at the popularisation of extreme Third Wave Feminism among the soon-to-be-free peoples of Appalachia, New Afrika, and other national homelands in the United States.
As is known, the Spatula’s staff have long taken the position that all heterosexual penetrative sexual intercourse is a form of rape, which is why we refuse to engage in it. At this very moment, our agents in the media who have been posing as Republicans for years are carrying out propaganda aimed at its elimination.
As Andrea Dworkin put it, “intercourse is a particular reality for women as an inferior class; and it has, in it, as part of it, violation of boundaries, taking over, occupation, destruction of privacy, all of which are construed to be normal and also fundamental to continuing human existence.”
Rush Limbaugh, a fairly obvious accelerationist communist and financial backer of Worker’s Spatula, has recently echoed Andrea’s work, emphasising that what may seem like sex between “consenting” heterosexuals is in fact just another form of rape:
You can do anything, the left will promote and understand and tolerate anything, as long as there is one element. Do you know what it is? “Consent”.
Comrade Heather MacDonald at City Journal, meanwhile, has pointed out the hypocrisy of Clinton and her campaign regularly remaining silent at acts that might promote “consensual” heterosexual rape:
Have they objected to college campus sex weeks, which routinely invite porn stars to offer how-to demonstrations on S&M sex? Do they squirm with discomfort when campus administrators pass out tips on the use of sex toys to achieve better orgasms? Not on the record, at least.
Mark “Marx” Meckler at Patheos perhaps summarised this disgusting attitude of condoning sexual-assault-by-“consent” best:
When it’s politically convenient, [Democrats] will call out immorality. Otherwise, they celebrate it as liberation.
With less than a month to go until the election, Worker’s Spatula has already begun a draft of a speech in which private property will be explicitly equated with theft:
“We’re pretty sure this is going to make a big difference in his final numbers,” our balaclava-clad US Desk Editor informed us over Skype. “And if he doesn’t, then we’re stuck with Clinton for eight years, which is definitely the worst disaster for the left in this country that I can think of.”