9 Facts about Trotskyism and Penises

trotsky

Some of the most frequent Google hits we get here at Worker’s Spatula are “Trotsky and penises”, “Trotsky penis size”, and “Trotsky ice axe slash fiction”. In order to cater to this clearly considerable market of people interested in Trotskyism and penises, we have decided to end some myths about both the Fourth International and phalluses once and for all:

  1. Reference to the USSR as “state capitalist” is not a defining feature of Trotskyism: Lenin used this term to describe the NEP period, and many anti-revisionist Marxist-Leninists use it in reference to the post-Stalin USSR. Further, although several Trotskyist trends embrace this analysis of the Soviet Union in general, Trotsky rejected this in his lifetime.
  2. Although as “anti-Stalinists”, Trotskyists often decry the purges and trials carried out during the Stalin era, the question of how to treat dissent was far from the cause of the division between Stalin and Trotsky: Trotsky himself oversaw the suppression of the Kronstadt rebellion, which involved summary executions. Rather, clashes of personalities, differences in foreign policy, and theoretical-terminological disputes figured more prominently into the split.
  3. Some readers may worry that they have a small penis, but did you know that the human penis is the largest among primates? That means that more impressive male specimens of the mighty silverback gorilla (less than 8 cm!) very likely would be intimidated by you in the locker room!
  4. Trotskyism is not about “neither Washington nor Moscow”, as the Spartacist League is only too happy to demonstrate! Many Trotskyists have supported Moscow-backed regimes against US imperialism, just as Maoists following the “Three Worlds Theory” defended pro-US fascist dictatorships in opposition to Moscow!
  5. Did you know there’s not just one Fourth International? It’s true! In the post-WWII period, followers of Trotsky underwent a series of splits, including the eccentric “Posadist” trend. Today, there are even some who advocate the building of a Fifth International! Wow!
  6. “Permanent revolution” is not a reference to constant revolt per se, but rather to the independence of class interests by the most revolutionary class, the proletariat. The term actually predates Lenin and was used by Marx, and in essence merely states that proletarian political consciousness must take the forefront in struggle against the bourgeoisie, despite alliances with “non-proletarian” elements. The point for Trotsky, however, was that one did not need to adopt a “two-stage” approach to revolution, and that even in semi-colonial contexts where the bourgeois revolution had been “held back”, it could be accomplished in effect “together with” the proletarian revolution by more or less the same forces.
  7. Size matters… or does it? While many women do have certain aesthetic standards about penis size just as they may about any other body part, clitoral stimulation is far more important than penetration for female sexual gratification. Towards this end, perhaps men should stop bragging about their length and begin comparing girths?
  8. Many men still believe crazy myths about masturbation, like that excessive masturbation will rob your body of all sperm, or cause your penis to rot and fall off! Like we said, these are just myths! Sperm is reproduced constantly throughout a man’s life, and as Worker’s Spatula writers are forbidden from penetrative intercourse, we can assure you that frequent masturbation has no ill effects on the penis itself!
  9. Some people think that Trotsky betrayed the revolution and began a pseudo-revolutionary trend which, in addition to never effecting an actual revolution, frequently sides with the forces of imperialism and reaction in a misguided attempt to “correct the errors” of “Stalinism”.
Advertisements

One thought on “9 Facts about Trotskyism and Penises

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s