Humourless Marxist Reviews: Arrival

ARRIVAL

2016’s Arrival, starring Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, and Forest Whitaker, tells the story of first contact with an alien species, and the philosophical and linguistic implications thereof.

It also fucking sucks, and I hated it.

Yes, Arrival is a terrible goddamn film. It was fucking boring and stupid. I strongly disliked it. And if you liked it, you’re bourgeois.

You might quote all the critics who loved the film, as well as your wide circle of friends, saying that the film was beautifully produced, splendidly acted, intellectually deep, etc. And to all of that, I would say: Those critics are bourgeois, your friends are bourgeois, the production team and the actors are incredibly bourgeois.

In addition to being bourgeois yourself, you are almost certainly some sort of revisionist.

“Oh, look at me, I’m Amy Adams! Can we communicate with these aliens before the Chinese blow them up?”* I don’t fucking care, Amy Adams! All I care about is organising the industrial proletariat for strikes, marches, and other forms of direct action against the growing fascist tide sweeping across the globe!

“Oh, I’m Forest Whitaker, I’m in the military! Let’s hire a linguist to translate these aliens’ jibber-jabber before the Chinese ruin everything!”* STOP BLAMING THE CHINESE FOR EVERYTHING, FOREST WHITAKER! YOU’VE BEEN AN IMPERIALIST STOOGE SINCE THE CRYING GAME!

You know how I perceive time, you bourgeois hacks? I perceive it in terms of the hours of my life robbed from me in the form of wage labour. And when I’m sitting through your boring film, I perceive it in terms of how much I had to pay for a ticket to this steaming pile of bourgeois crap, money that represents those same hours I put in as a wage labourer!

The sort of people who like Arrival probably like bourgeois nonsense like M. Night Shyamalan. Proletarians can’t afford films anymore, and that’s why all films these days are bourgeois and terrible.

When the revolution comes, the Proletarian Film Awards will not pay attention to awful films like Arrival.

*Actual dialogue taken from the film.

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3 thoughts on “Humourless Marxist Reviews: Arrival

  1. Ty

    I cannot help it but it was borrrrring, Not because I wanted alien vs humans, but because of the sad and pathetic way Louise decides that even in time relativity/ travel, she’ll go through ALL THAT AGONY AGAIN,just to have that child. I would start looking for cures right freaking now! I wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy but I’d be REAL tempted to look for another partner or check us both out for genetic tendencies toward specific diseases. And NO, NO WAY IN HELL WOULD I DO EVERYTHING THE SAME! That’s just ridiculous! Sad, and THIS WHOLE THEME, boring would I live my life exactly over in the same way, I Would, is actually ruining the film. There could have been so much more interesting. What about time travel, what about fixing problems, what about learning to fix thongs not just act helpless I the face of such a grand gift?
    Idiotic to call this a possible best science fiction film.

    Like

  2. El Gato

    This seemed like Man of Steel, going back to childhood, present, going back to past, present, going back to past, present, going back to past, present, going…… going…. going…. me and my neighbor were snoring and waiting for something to eventually happen but no……………. a lot of it seemed strangely hasty and as if we didn’t have any other option than nuking them down. Crazy….

    Like

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