Princess Diana: Also a Worker

DianaintheMiana

We must socialise the Monarchy to raise their class consciousness.

It has been 20 years since Diana, Tywysoges Cymru, died whilst using publically funded transport. Shockingly, no organ of the British working class (aside from the Sunday Sport) took the time to honour her memory.

Her death in August of 1997 sent shockwaves around the world, arguably leading to the death of that other Tribune of the People, known Albanian Mother Theresa. In the months of public mourning after the tragic event, the bourgeois press attempted to cover up the proletarian nature of the life of the last British Stakhanovite. Worker’s Spatula have elected to rectify this by publishing Her True Story.

Born into obscurity in a small village in East Anglia, Diana (maiden name Spencer, from the old French term for Butler of Steward) experienced significant hardship during her upbringing. Coming from a broken home, and never performing well at school, one would expect her to become a member of the landless rural Lumpenproletariat like the rest of her family. However, she rose to public prominence after marriage to minor British dignitary Charles Windsor and embarking on a career in Landmine Removal. Following the example of her idol, Che Guevara, she travelled to Angola to join the struggle of the MPLA against the regional domination of the apartheid South African regime, where she met Che’s comrade Fidel Castro, and fell pregnant with two young children who unfortunately grew up to be Maoists.

Such was her dedication to raising the revolutionary consciousness of the international working class, that she founded and worked for over 100 revolutionary organisations (which the bourgeois mainstream media offensively obscure by referring to them as ‘charities’).

Following her divorce, she spent time party building in London, New York, and Lahore, before moving to Paris in the wake of the election of socialist Lionel Jospin to the position of Prime Minister. Though her time in Paris before her untimely death was short, her impact was far reaching, as can be seen in the introduction of the 35-hour workweek, and the CMU (couverture maladie universelle), both solid gains for the French working class, who still mourn the loss of their last great leader every year.

Indeed, her tragic death following a life and death car chase with state agents in Pont de l’Alma tunnel in Paris whilst she was on her way to a union meeting (where she was branch chair), was met with shock and outrage by workers of the world. Following the public outcry, British Prime Minister Tony Blair colluded with the British Establishment to de-politicise Diana’s death, appealing to national-chauvinist sentiment to stem the rapidly growing insurrection, enlisting the support of noted class collaborator Elton John to memorialise Diana as ‘England’s Rose’ (an affront to the Welsh peasants who she spent decades organising against English domination!).

Since her death, scab princess, Camilla Parker-Bowles, has tried to fill the shoes of the People’s Princess, but has only managed to write one cash-in book on bone vitamins, the most reactionary of all vitamins. More recently, she has tried to bolster her faltering cult of personality with the dubiously titled Big Bone Walk, where she lead 90 suffering children on a 10 mile walk in an attempt to emulate the PLA’s ‘Long March’.

In stark contrast, despite the sneers of former confidante and revisionist Paul Burrell, the legacy of the Queen of Hearts lives on in the struggles of the 32 million British workers who watched her televised funeral.

Diana lived, Diana lives, Diana will live forever, no matter how the bourgeois press try to make us forget her, and her untimely death.

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