PARIS – As ecstatic crowds took the streets across France (as well as other Francophone countries and in many other places around the world) to celebrate France’s decisive victory over Croatia in the World Cup hosted in Moscow today, our correspondents in France peppered themselves throughout the crowds to surreptitiously extract the views of the celebrating masses.
“Yesterday, Bastille Day, today the World Cup! LONG LIVE FRANCE!” exclaimed Jean Thomas, a drunken gentleman wearing one of those tricolour leis who appeared to not particularly comprehend our correspondent’s question: “Do you think that this win will help legitimise the imperialist dominance of France over semi-colonial countries under the rubric of ‘Francophonie’ given the multinational origins of the French team and the consequent international support for this victory?”
“FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!” added Thomas, for emphasis.
Other slightly more sober French individuals gave insufficiently sober analysis of the win:
“I think it’s a wonderful thing that we won with such a diverse team. I think it will really bring France together, to show how many different kinds of people are all equally French,” explained Agathe Kowalski, a young liberal who is apparently just too young to remember the past few decades of domestic French politics.
“Bien sûr, parce que un étranger devient français quand il marque deux buts pour ce pays,” responded our correspondent, to empty stares from Kowalski and her friends.
Slightly removed from the crowds, some white French were more forthcoming with their less palatable views: “After everything we’ve given to these countries, why shouldn’t they feel themselves French? We have a culture, a civilisation, we gave them the football, you know,” explained one “absolutely not racist” gentleman with an intolerably French name.
“I would prefer if there were more French boys on the team,” interjected one of his friends.
“French boys?” enquired our correspondent, raising an eyebrow.
“Originally French, or non-immigrant, euh… t’vois, des blancs.”
Oh là là! Would you be interested in some slightly more intellectual or humorous but equally dismissive pieces about France? Voilà, fellow haters of bourgeois French society and its dictats!
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