Hypocritical “Communist” Owns Smartphone, Doesn’t Use it to Read Marxist Theory and Spread Propaganda

FullyAutomated

MELBOURNE – Sources close to Tyler Cheng, a suburban anti-capitalist in Melbourne and proud owner of all the DVDs and weed you could want if you’re thinking to come by his place later, have confirmed that in spite of his flirting with the self-designation of “communist”, he hypocritically owns a smartphone which he neither uses to read Marxist theory nor to spread communist propaganda.

“Ugh, Tyler’s so annoying. He’s always talking about anything that annoys him in terms of it being ‘capitalist’, but he doesn’t even seem to grasp that his comfortable life is made possible by an internationalised mode of production held up by monopoly-controlled imperialist powers which produce the goods and services he takes for granted. So you can imagine I never see him organising accordingly,” explained friend and classmate Jaswinder Kaur.

“Yeah, for sure, I hate when I see his stupid hammer and sickle background photo on his smartphone. What a hypocrite. Does he realise that the capitalist mode of production is a material reality that can’t be fought by idealism and formalism, but only by materialist dialectics as the theoretical basis for revolutionary practice?” concurred fellow classmate and Jaswinder’s partner Peter Smith.

Tyler’s Sociology professor Nancy Gold had this to say about Tyler’s outbursts in class, which we’re told never go beyond class as he’s too busy getting high all the fucking time to interact with anyone who isn’t explicitly asking for engagement as she does: “Tyler always shouts out something about capitalist society being stupid and responsible for the terrible essays I ‘make’ him write, but capitalism is amazing when you think about it: it puts in the palm of his hand a device which allows him to read diverse critical theoretical texts written over a timespan of over a hundred years on sites like Marxists Internet Archive and communicate with people in diverse social conditions, and he passes all that up in favour of looking edgy and stupid all the fucking time. I’m going to fail him.”

Tyler’s girlfriend Sharon Wong confessed that she too has become tired of her boyfriend’s posturing: “He’s always writing these papers for class which claim to criticise all actually existing conditions, but he never publishes them outside class or does any other propaganda work. It’s like, you go to a good university, you wear nice clothes made in sweatshops, you own a smartphone made by exploited workers the world over, all of these things place you within a respected social context such that you could reach dozens of young people in your own environment for the purpose of organisation. And yet, you’d rather just intellectually masturbate when you could go join RaFFWU and start a reading group with the other organisers or something useful.

“Do you know what communists actually believe? They don’t believe in you spending all your time on Facebook. They believe in you spending a few hours a day of your time on Facebook explaining how the capitalist society which produced Facebook is itself a product of generations of social development within class society, a state of affairs which could be overturned, but not if people like you just uncritically accept your own social belonging and fail to organise against it.

“It’s like, you live in Australia, Tyler. You can’t be a communist. Not without grasping our society’s objective existence as a parasitic settler-colony atop the oppressed Aboriginal people and within a system of international exploitation which includes the countries from which our parents hailed and is the material reason for our existence here.”

Image expropriated from Kriffed.

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Turkish State Refuses Offer of Sam Kriss Prisoner Swap

LockHimUp

VIENNA – As various observers of Turkish politics continue to speculate as to whether, when, and how the Turkish authorities will return to the negotiating table with the PKK in these tumultuous times, all have been blindsided by the latest news that state representatives have met with another group which they and their media lackeys characterise as “ontological terrorists”, “namussuz piçler”, and “affedersiniz, Ermeniler”: Worker’s Spatula.

While official sources continue to deny that the right Kierkegaardian government led by the AKP would meet with the Hoxhaist rebel news team, we assure our thousands of readers around the world that we have been meeting in Vienna with the AKP with the express purpose of securing the freedom of Max Zirngast via a prisoner swap.

Max Zirngast, as much of our readership know, is an Austrian Marxist-Leninist who was imprisoned for reading too much Hegel in Turkey, a country where “the Hegelians” have been added to the growing list of “terrorist organisations”. Hiding their hatred for Max’s mastery of German philosophy behind bogus, unsubstantiated, and to a great extent “confidential” claims of “terrorist propaganda”, the AKP have jailed one of those precious few western Marxist-Leninists who is both theoretically competent and practically useful. His defence in the AKP court of the “universal values” of socialism is but his latest act of “terrorism” which consists of working with impoverished children of diverse backgrounds, writing for various leftist publications, and trying to awaken in the masses a consciousness of themselves as a revolutionary political subjectivity, all alongside his comrades from TÖP who have also been picked up and subsequently jailed on completely meaningless and groundless “terror” charges.

Our initial offer of trading Sam Kriss for Max Zirngast’s freedom was refused when the Turkish negotiation team discovered that Sam Kriss’s only practical work consists of shameless self-promotion, and the bulk of his theoretical work also consists of shameless self-promotion. They were particularly furious to discover that the organisation which we claimed Kriss was involved with, the MLOGB (Maoist-Lacanist Organisation of Great Britain), was nothing more than a Spatular fabrication, an elaborate bit of banter (or “geyik”), like Yr Aflonyddwch Mawr in Wales.

Subsequently, we changed tactics and proposed a handover of an assortment of New York City academic Marxists, perhaps a trio of Vivek Chibber, David Harvey, and Andrew Arato. To this the AKP team replied that “come on, even we know Arato’s not a Marxist” and “give us Ollman”, to which a member of our team replied “over my dead fucking body will you touch Ollman, he’s the only real one, we’re attending his Seder in April”.

Despite the lack of success in negotiations thus far, we did receive word through Max’s lawyer that he is in high spirits, keeping busy learning Arabic, a language he started learning while in Hatay helping organise the local Alawite Arab population, and which he hopes to be the first westerner to successfully learn to any level of meaningful conversational proficiency, instead of just saying “shwaya shwaya” and changing the subject, like they fucking do.

Other rebuffed offers to the AKP included trading Max Zirngast for various low-level Gülenist refugees, a box full of Öcalan flags, a Circassian dance troupe, the abstract concept of hubris, and the southeast Asian country of Malaysia. The AKP team inform us that they already have all of these things in their possession, or can acquire them without our help.

With negotiations still ongoing, a Worker’s Spatula team are currently plotting to take Sam Kriss hostage anyway, “just in case somebody wants him”.

But seriously:

MaxZirngast

 

Worker’s Spatula Begin Second Three-Year Plan

StalinEyes

AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION IN THE SWISS ALPS – Coming up on the third anniversary of the founding of Worker’s Spatula on the 16th of this month, Worker’s Spatula’s Central Committee have convened in a village in the Swiss Alps to appraise the successes and failures of the first Three-Year Plan and outline the second one, to be put into action immediately.

The Three-Year Plan was originally conceived of as a rough guide to the collective’s interventions for the coming period, both in terms of the process and the desired results. Following our general criticism of the 20th century experience as having been insufficiently dialectical, we chose a three-year period over a five-year period on the grounds that a change in quantity would effect a change in quality, and also Lenin: “Better Fewer, But Better”.

Several members spoke of their appraisal of our achievements with regard to our initial ambitions:

“Obviously the greatest success has been the high level of theoretical development of our cadres within the Spatula’s network, as well as our many readers scattered across all continents,” began one German representative, passing around some cigars procured on his recent trip to Haiti, the homeland of the Lordship–Bondage dialectic (citation: Susan Buck-Morss). “We are completely ahead of schedule on that front. Our original stated goal was to exceed Žižek’s level of Hegel-fetishism by 2018, we have actually transformed the international anti-revisionist movement into an invisible army of Hegel scholars. Praise the dialectic of history!”

“Typical German idealism,” hastily interjected an English representative. “Our greatest success has been material, namely our transformation of Worker’s Spatula from a backwards website into a great industrial power able to economically outproduce Great Moments in Leftism, and to do so relying principally on Turkish resources, against the vulgar economist predictions of the leftcom scoundrels.”

“Comrades, comrades,” interrupted a sobering voice with a Turkish accent from the back of the room, “it is the accepted thing at congresses to speak of achievements. That we have achievements is beyond question. They, these achievements, are, of course, not inconsiderable, and there is no reason to hide them. But, comrades, it has become a practice with us lately to talk so much of achievements, and sometimes so affectedly, that one loses all desire to speak of them once again. Allow me, therefore, to depart from the general practice and to say a few words not about our achievements, but about our weaknesses and our tasks in connection with these weaknesses.”

Recognising the Stalin quote, several Central Committee members present shifted uncomfortably in their seats, preparing for accusations of bureaucratisation.

With each week that brings us closer to 2019 and the 300th anniversary of the Nazi Nightmareland which is Liechtenstein, it becomes more and more obvious that no matter which tactics we employ, we are utterly powerless to bring down this regime. Nobody dares say it, but since we are all thinking it, I will stake my reputation on telling the truth: Liechtenstein imperialism is so impervious to our efforts to bring it down precisely because there is another, more powerful imperialist country defending it. I speak of course of Swiss imperialism.

At the beginning of our first Three-Year Plan, we determined that there was a need to grasp the Leninist assertion that imperialism is in fact the highest stage in the development of capitalism, and to retheorise this against the economically ignorant misconceptions which have become predominant in our movement. Our attacks on Liechtenstein have, in this light, been very correct and crucial for world revolution. But we cannot ignore the fact that we have spent considerable resources in 2018, suffering splits and even sacrificing martyrs to ensure the downfall of Liechtenstein from our base here in Switzerland, when it is the objective social and economic relations within Switzerland, and not our subjectivity as anti-Liechtenstein guerrillas, which have been holding back this revolutionary war.

We cannot hold this criticism back until the New Year’s Message and Self-Criticism: the head of global imperialism is Swiss monopoly capital, a force more powerful even than Liechtenstein. Our next Three-Year Plan must include a commitment to the theoretical and practical development of the revolutionary movement within Switzerland itself. Only thus can we construct a revolutionary movement actually capable of confronting these two greatest imperialist powers: Switzerland and Liechtenstein, who together prop up all others and indeed the entire capitalist world-system.

After a tense moment of silence, this speech was greeted with applause, and chants in support of the construction of a “pan-Alpine guerrilla movement” by August 2021.

Other criticisms of the first Three-Year Plan were that the seriousness of our commitment to Marxism has also weakened our ability to intervene in the sphere of internet content. The second Three-Year Plan is to include a commitment to gaining at least one new content-creator for every four people who have to stop contributing because of the demands of our real-world politics.

As the meeting rounded up, other aspects of the second Three-Year Plan were agreed upon in a democratic centralist fashion. By 2021, Worker’s Spatula expect to have:

  • Achieved full vegetarianism of the Central Committee and achieved majority vegetarianism by all Worker’s Spatula contributors. Bream will be phased out last among meats, and all meat-eating readers are encouraged to spend the next year transitioning through a bream-based diet to a vegetarian diet as quickly as possible.
  • Re-educated all cishet man comrades to never accept any relationship with a woman other than one based upon the heroic principles of socialist matriarchal polyandry.
  • Spatular agents within every single ICOR affiliate, a broad influence on other international anti-revisionist projects.
  • Recognition not only as the pinnacle of Marxist-Leninist internet content and the vanguard of the vanguard of the vanguard of the revolution, but also take over all those other communist meme pages on Facebook, directly or indirectly.
  • Used Twitter to make the sort of jokes we used to make on WordPress, then as the character count increases on that site, gradually turn the Twitter content into the sort of lengthy screeds which are now normative on the WordPress site, and by the end of the Three-Year Plan have to find another platform for dumb jokes on.

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Overcoming the Whitegeist

Whitegeist

“Why Trump? Why now? Why not Bernie?”

Don’t worry, US readers: this will not be yet another thinkpiece about how Donald Trump reflects the latent white supremacy of the settler-colonial Yankee national identity. This will not be yet another thinkpiece about how many of Donald Trump’s supporters are bourgeois. This will not be yet another thinkpiece which repeats that the Trump presidency is the means by which the crisis punishes all of the US for the victory of Clintonite status quo-ism over even the most modest reformism of Sanders.

You know these things already. The fact is, everyone knows these things. Everything under the sun is old and burnt.

Rather, let us dispense momentarily with a simple meditation, in lieu of a hot take. At this point, all but the most out-of-touch critic would agree that Bernie would, in fact, have won. But given that the objective conditions are such that Bernie did not in fact win, let us not forget how much of the blame lies precisely with political subjects such as Sanders and the Sandernistas for failing to see beyond the Whitegeist.

The Zeitgeist, as all of our readers know, is the spirit (Geist) of the age (Zeit). We are most concerned with the level of development of the masses, their collective consciousness and spirit. It does not suffice to consider oneself a meaningful political subject and not consider the objective reality of the development of the revolutionary masses. But who are the revolutionary masses In the United States? Quite simply, everyone except white people.

At this point, their biases against us confirmed, all the white leftists in the United States have stopped reading. But seriously, folks, nobody is actually preaching that there is no revolutionary potential in the struggles of “white” proletarians. And if they do appear to exist, they’re just Worker’s Spatula psyops.

In fact, just to be safe, assume that everyone on left Twitter discussing such matters is either a Spatula writer or a sockpuppet which is part of a Spatula psyop, depending on whether or not we unironically share the views they espouse or not.

Can we all stop talking about the problem of imaginary leftists condemning labour strikes because of the skin colour of white workers? How often has this actually obstructed your practice, if you’re reading this and actually have any practice (since most of the internet left has neither theory nor practice)?

However, many white leftists in the United States, particularly the Sandernistas and large sections of the DSA, but also some anarchists and Marxist-Leninists, seem to think that chauvinism is found only in explicit statements of condemnation for oppressed nations and identities or movements addressing said oppression. Strasserite chauvinism finds its reflection in an obsession by more honest socialists with saving the soul of white workers, no matter how chauvinist those workers might be.

“Oh so you’re saying all white workers are chauvinists?” Hell yes we are, every single one of them is chauvinist trash, no different to the KKK, and all non-white workers are pure vessels for the revolution, whose only flaw is not kicking white workers out of their unions screaming “beat it, whitey!”

But seriously, the editing process for this piece was inordinately held back by debating how many times we should insert a joke about how we hate all white people* or there are no white workers or whatever. The hyper-sensitivity on this point by white communists (particularly in the US) is so obnoxious and we wonder when they will stop it. We assure you: we have considered the class implications.

We all know Trump voters are not disproportionately the disenfranchised in this country. We all also agree that there should be a unity of struggle between the white proletariat and the oppressed nationalities. The problem is, to build a sincere solidarity after literally centuries of harsh national oppression, which is not merely a scar on historical memory but which creates a real hierarchy in economic reality, we must do so on the terms of the more oppressed and impoverished oppressed nationalities.

Occupy Wall Street began in 2011. Afro-Americans have been struggling for their most basic democratic rights since before there was a United States. It is not unreasonable to expect that in uniting the two struggles, the one should show due deference to the other.

But what is the response of the white left? To scold others for bringing up the national question, to speak of “One United American Working Class™”, to compare George Washington to Robespierre, and other such thinly-veiled patriotic nonsense, right as the US Empire is weakening for the first time since the end of the Cold War!

It is not only the DSA, who speak of the US as a “nation”, who do this, but even many ostensible Marxist-Leninists! While the Whitegeist in the US may be one step ahead of Occupy Wall Street, the Zeitgeist of the oppressed nations in the US is one step ahead of Black Lives Matter, is in Cooperation Jackson, is speaking about “decolonisation”. We struggle to unite these struggles of course, but the Whitegeist must be brought up to the level of the heroic oppressed peoples in the US, their struggle cannot be buried because the Whitegeist of the white working class (or intellectuals’ idealist conception thereof) is frightened of it!

Our hypocritical white US leftists insist that they support Black Lives Matter, that they “like” Malcolm X, that they name-drop Assata Shakur. Like anarchists, they use their individual lifestyle to cover up the essence of a more general theoretical critique; like social democrats, they assure us that Black America is on their mind, but we can’t divide the working class [vote?] by distracting precious white workers from their own precious white problems with anyone else’s “identitarian” non-white problems; like the liberals who worship Barack Obama, they want Black “allies” who validate their position as good white people and do not make them uncomfortable.

In short, these labour aristocratic settler-colonialist white leftists who have yet to face their own history and social position substitute their own consciousness for that of the revolutionary proletariat. They may be well-intentioned, but their good intentions are only an indication of of how far we can travel with them as individuals. They are no indication of the correctness of their analysis, which entirely substitutes their idealist and subjective conception of the working class for a critical dialectical process of material struggle of all workers and all oppressed.

There is a general tendency in the United States to characterise polemics such as this one, without using precisely this terminology, as “reverse racist”, or “anti-white”. The code-word used is “Third Worldist”. You would think, therefore, that those who demand that liberation of the oppressed be centred in the rhetoric of revolutionaries in the US are either idealists who don’t understand the material conditions of their own country, or foreign leftists who don’t understand that the objective conditions of struggle in the US are so undeveloped as to not be ready for this sort of revolutionary rhetoric.

And indeed, one of the writers who pushed this piece in committee did come from a country with wildly different economic conditions, political history, and culture.

Australia.

Yes, whatever you want to say about Socialist Alliance, and no Worker’s Spatula writer can pass up the chance to point out that Green Left Weekly, while a fine news source, simply has NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT HEGEL, but from the vantage point (Ollman lol) of Melbourne, it’s frankly startling to see how little the liberation of oppressed peoples means to white leftists in the US. It’s not as if we committed less genocide against the indigenous than the Yanks. If Yanks are under that impression, it’s simply because their settler-colonial society’s population has been bolstered by more immigration than ours.

And while it’s true that in Australia, Aboriginals are a greater portion of the population than the Indigenous nations in the United States, it’s equally true that the Afro-American people, who are subject to similar national oppression, are a much greater percentage of the overall population of the United States than the Aboriginals in Australia. Thus we can see that it is not that the white left are ignoring the oppressed peoples within “their own” borders based on irrelevance, but out of a chauvinism that even other settler-colonial peoples, such as the arch-racist white Australian society, are capable of overcoming on the radical left.

head-2018
Compare the CPA to the CPUSA and despair.

This is a clear example of the role subjectivity plays in shaping objectivity. If the white left in the US insists on tailing the Whitegeist, then they will see no objective need to embrace the liberation struggles of the oppressed peoples. If the white left in Australia overcome the Whitegeist, suddenly it becomes completely objectively obvious to them that there is a pressing need to embrace the struggle of the Aboriginals.

In fact, whether or not we had written this screed, things are in motion in the white left, and the Whitegeist itself is developing. Different elements of the white working class in the US will be driven towards fascism whether we intervene or those with a less full analysis intervene with a more vulgar class politics. But to intervene most correctly we hope all interested comrades will grasp the limitations into which they were socialised, struggle to overcome them, and take on the struggle of the oppressed peoples as their own, and by doing so, become themselves a living connection.

Workers and oppressed peoples of the world, unite!

*Although, you know, fuck white people.

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Point/Counterpoint: Yelling About Hegel

JMPGWFMZT

The First Annual Clandestine Worker’s Spatula Marxist Theory Symposium and Dance-a-Thon was held at an undisclosed part of York University campus in Toronto, Canada last night. Attendees who arrived thanks to secret invitations came from locations as diverse as Australia, China, Turkey, India, and Argentina to debate topics ranging from economics to gender politics to philosophy.

The highlight of the evening, according to all in attendance, was the debate on “Yelling About Hegel”, which consisted of York University’s own J. Moufawad Paul, who swiped the keys to get us all into the [REDACTED] building, and a Worker’s Spatula representative who is hot for Hegel. What follows is a 100% factual and 100% accurate transcript, and if J. Moufawad Paul seeks to object in any way, we can only assume his account has been hacked by the Russians, as is traditional in North America.

Moderator: Well, I see we have a packed room for this panel. Expected, I suppose, because if there’s one thing that draws the big crowds, it’s heated arguments about Hegel. You all know the rules: each participant is permitted to yell until they run out of breath, at which point the other begins yelling until they run out of breath. If I start yelling, everyone else has to stop yelling until I finish what I’m saying. The debate is over when somebody flips the table like TİKB did during the Toblerone conference in London. Any preliminary, non-yelled remarks from either of you?

WS: First of all, since we’re going to be yelling about Hegel, I want to give a shout-out to Arif Çelebi. Secondly, on behalf of all of our cadre taking part in the Ramadan fast, I wanted to thank J. Moufawad-Paul for his thoughtful choice of bream for this evening’s iftar. He has been nothing if not a gracious host to us, and has made me personally rethink my prejudiced view that all white settler-colonial English Canadians are hypocritical liberal scum.

JMP: Please, comrade. I also love bream. But I’m glad that I could prove that not all individuals from settler-colonial Canadian society are roughly as culturally sensitive as Justin Trudeau, if not to his right. I hope that this event will be the first in many occasions for meaningful exchange between revolutionary trends across the world. By the way, is there any chance you’d like to accept that Maoism is the third and hi…

Moderator: …AND WITH THAT, WE’RE OFF! START YELLING!

JMP: Oh, is it… is it time for me to start yelling? Okay: WHERE DO I BEGIN? MY POSITION IS ALMOST TOO OBVIOUS: HEGEL IS AN IDEALIST PHILOSOPHER, AND THE REPEATED IMPLICATION BY WORKER’S SPATULA THAT HEGEL IS ON PAR WITH MARX WAS ALWAYS INTERPRETED AS A JOKE UP UNTIL THIS POINT. IS IT ACTUALLY WORKER’S SPATULA’S POSITION THAT, AND I QUOTE, “MARXISM-LENINISM, MORE LIKE HEGELIANISM-LENINISM, AMIRITE?”?(?)

WS: YEAH SURE, WHY NOT? I’M NOT GOING TO GET IN TROUBLE FOR SAYING THAT. YOU CAN’T BE A MARXIST WITHOUT HEGEL. IT’S NOT A FUCKING COINCIDENCE THAT EVERY MODERN REVISIONIST YOU TALK TO CAN’T SUMMARISE THE UNIVERSAL MOTION OF DIALECTICS ON EVEN THE MOST BASIC LEVEL. YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE DIALECTICS AS A MARXIST.

JMP: I NEVER SAID DIALECTICS WASN’T AN ESSENTIAL PART OF THE MARXIST WORLDVIEW, I WROTE A FUCKING DIAMAT MANUAL. BUT IN THE DIALECTICAL INTERPLAY BETWEEN BEING AND CONSCIOUSNESS, THE BEING IS PRIMARY, AND HEGEL’S SHORTCOMING WAS PRECISELY IN HIS FAILURE TO GRASP THIS.

WS: DID HEGEL MAKE MISTAKES? OF COURSE HE DID. IN SO LONG A PERIOD FILLED WITH HEROISM, TRIALS, STRUGGLE, TRIUMPHS, IT IS INEVITABLE NOT ONLY FOR HEGEL PERSONALLY BUT ALSO FOR GERMAN IDEALISM AS A WHOLE TO MAKE MISTAKES.

MODERATOR: FOUL! No paraphrasing Enver Hoxha or Mao Zedong quotes defending Stalin! That joke is for Twitter only.

WS: Sorry, force of habit.

MODERATOR: That’s fine, just try to make sure it doesn’t happen again. JMP? Can we get your word that you won’t do the same?

JMP: Hey, I never do that anyway.

MODERATOR: Very well. Comrade, would you like to yell a more original and substantial response?

WS: LENIN SAID “INTELLIGENT IDEALISM IS CLOSER TO INTELLIGENT MATERIALISM THAN STUPID MATERIALISM”. WE CAN’T GO THE DIRECTION WHERE WE PAINT HEGEL AS AN ENEMY OF MARXISM!

JMP: I’M A FUCKING PHILOSOPHY PROFESSOR! I THINK PEOPLE SHOULD READ HEGEL, AND I’VE READ HEGEL, AND I’VE TAUGHT HEGEL! I KNOW FULL WELL ALL THE WAYS HEGEL IS MISREPRESENTED, BUT MARX EXPLICITLY IDENTIFIES HEGELIAN DIALECTICS AS BEING DEFICIENT IN ITS IDEALISM, AND THE ANTI-REVISIONIST TRADITION IS REPLETE WITH BREAKS FROM HEGELIANISM AS SUCH, JUST AS MODERN REVISIONISM IS REPLETE WITH BREAKS WITH DIALECTICS AS SUCH.

DIALECTICS IS NOT SIMPLY DEFINED AS HEGELIANISM. THE FACT THAT IN THE MILIEU OF GERMAN IDEALISM A CERTAIN LANGUAGE EMERGED THAT WAS USEFUL FOR MARX IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE HERE DENIES. THE ISSUE IS THAT YOU COULD JUST KEEP GOING BACK WITH THAT: DO WE NEED KANT TO UNDERSTAND HEGEL?

WS: LENIN ALSO SAID: “IT IS IMPOSSIBLE COMPLETELY TO UNDERSTAND MARX’S CAPITAL, AND ESPECIALLY ITS FIRST CHAPTER, WITHOUT HAVING THOROUGHLY STUDIED AND UNDERSTOOD THE WHOLE OF HEGEL’S LOGIC. CONSEQUENTLY, HALF A CENTURY LATER NONE OF THE MARXISTS UNDERSTOOD MARX!!” DID HE EVER SAY THAT SHIT ABOUT KANT?

MODERATOR: FUCKING FOUL! That’s two quotes from Lenin talking about Hegel in a row! Stop relying on Lenin to make your argumentation. JMP, your turn to yell.

JMP: LENIN IS NOT AN INFALLIBLE SOURCE FOR UNDERSTANDING THE MARXIST METHOD! I HALF-EXPECTED YOU TO QUOTE ENGELS NEXT. AS I ARGUE IN MY BOOK, WHICH YOU’D KNOW IF YOU READ IT, I AM NOT ONLY AGAINST VULGAR MATERIALISM AND PSEUDO DIALECTICS, BUT ALSO AGAINST IDEALIST DIALECTICS IN THE FORM OF “PURE HEGELIANISM”, EVEN AS FOUND IN MARXISM! THIS WAS MAO’S FUNDAMENTAL BREAKTHROUGH: THE NEGATION OF THE NEGATION IS ITSELF A FORM OF IDEALISM!

WS: Yeah, the SMF said the same thing when asked about the Abstrakt piece about Maoist dialectics.

JMP: The SMF?

WS: They’re supposedly a front for the [REDACTED].

JMP: Ah. Well, you see? MLMs.

MODERATOR: You’re not yelling.

JMP: WHETHER OR NOT THE NEGATION OF THE NEGATION IS A HEGELIAN CONCEPT THAT HAS NO PLACE IN MARXISM OR NOT, IT’S NOT THE CASE THAT A KNOWLEDGE OF HEGEL ALONE IS A THEORETICAL DEFENCE FROM REVISIONISM: ŽIŽEK IS A FINE CONTEMPORARY EXAMPLE, HE DEFENDS THE RATIONAL CORE OF HEGELIANISM AS A BASIS FOR MARXIST THOUGHT MORE STRONGLY THAN ANYONE, MORE THAN YOU EVEN, AND YET HE ALSO DEVIATES CONSTANTLY TO THE RIGHT, YOU DON’T NEED ME TO LIST ALL OF HIS ERRORS, YOU’VE MOCKED HIS IDIOCY MORE THAN ALMOST ANYONE.

AND WITHIN ACTUALLY EXISTING SOCIALISM: MANY OF THE CAPITALIST-ROADERS DEFENDED A SORT OF CONSERVATIVE HEGELIANISM, A “RIGHT HEGELIANISM”. HELL, THE FACT THAT YOU EVEN FREQUENTLY EMPLOY THE TERM “LEFT HEGELIANISM” IS A TELL: YOU’RE FULLY AWARE HOW FORMAL HEGELIANISM CAN BE REACTIONARY, JUST AS YOU MUST AGREE THAT THE THEORETICALLY UNDEVELOPED MOTION OF THE MASSES HAS A GREATER REVOLUTIONARY POTENTIAL THAN ANY THEORY NOT APPLIED IN PRACTICE!

WS: FINALLY WE GET TO THE MEAT OF THE MATTER! FIRSTLY: IT’S DEFINITELY TRUE THAT THERE ARE RIGHT HEGELIANS AND THAT OPPORTUNISM AND REACTION HAVE BEEN AIDED BY PEOPLE WHO FORMALLY DEFENDED HEGEL WITHIN REVOLUTIONARY CONTEXTS, BUT WOULD YOU REALLY ARGUE THAT MAO’S CAPITALIST-ROADER OPPONENTS HAD A FIRM GRASP ON DIALECTICS, IDEALIST OR OTHERWISE, GIVEN THAT THEIR FUNDAMENTAL AIM WAS TO CONCEAL RATHER THAN REVEAL CONTRADICTIONS?

REGARDLESS, THIS IS THE SAME AS TRYING TO BRUSH ASIDE MARX BY POINTING OUT THAT OVER 90% OF FORMALLY DECLARED MARXISTS ARE CHARLATANS, FRAUDS, SCOUNDRELS, RENEGADES, AND OTHER INSULTS LENIN WOULD’VE USED. OUR DEFENCE OF MARXISM AS A METHOD AGAINST FORMALIST APPROPRIATIONS OF MARXISM, EITHER IN THE FORM OF A WORSHIP OF ICONOGRAPHY OR A SORT OF RELIGIOUS TEXTUALISM MASQUERADING AS ACADEMIC MARXISM: THIS IS FUNDAMENTALLY THE SAME AS OUR DEFENCE OF HEGELIANISM, WHICH AGAIN, WE CLAIM IT IS NO COINCIDENCE WAS MARX’S PRIMARY POINT OF THEORETICAL REFERENCE.

THIRDLY, YOU MAKE REFERENCE TO THE MASSES: WE DEFINITELY AGREE THAT THERE MUST BE A DIALECTICAL PROCESS BETWEEN MASS AND ORGANISATION, THAT AN ORGANISATION WHICH FAILS TO UNDERSTAND ITS SUBJECTIVE AND OBJECTIVE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MASSES CAN NEVER BE REVOLUTIONARY, BUT THE VERY FACT OF BUILDING SUCH AN ORGANISATION IS A SUBJECTIVE MANIFESTATION OF TRYING TO DEVELOP A REVOLUTIONARY THEORY WHICH, I PRESUME YOU WOULD ALSO AGREE, IN THE FINAL INSTANCE IS A NECESSITY FOR TRULY REVOLUTIONARY PRACTICE!

SO: IF WE DEFEND HEGEL IN TERMS OF A THEORETICAL BASIS, IT IS NOT BECAUSE WE ARE “IDEALISTS”, ANY MORE THAN YOU ARE FOR DEFENDING “MAOIST DIALECTICS”, OUR ARGUMENT IS THAT TO DEVELOP A CORRECT THEORETICAL LINE, WE NEED BOTH A MATERIAL ENGAGEMENT AND A FIRM GRASP ON WHAT DIALECTICS IS!

JMP: BUT YOUR ARGUMENT ON THE DEFINITION OF DIALECTICS IS BASED ENTIRELY ON HEGEL SIMPLY BECAUSE OF A FORMAL COMMITMENT TO HEGEL’S HISTORICAL ROLE WITHIN THE GERMAN PHILOSOPHICAL TRADITION AT THE POINT OF MARX’S WRITING!

Tragically, the debate was cut short at this juncture when a DHKP-C guerrilla who had infiltrated the symposium began firing a small handgun into the air and screaming: “FEUERBACH ÜZERİNE 11. TEZ!” over and over again whilst the entire crowd fled the room to retrieve their own weapons.

UPDATE: J. Moufawad-Paul has agreed to continue the discussion in an even more private location with the proceedings to be published later this Ramadan. Worker’s Spatula would like to apologise as usual on behalf of the Turkish left for the Mahircis being so goddamned Mahirci all the time.

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Charles Mingus is the Rosa Luxemburg of Jazz

Mingus

As all of our neighbours in Vienna are aware by now, we at Worker’s Spatula headquarters have replaced the traditional Turkish method of waking our comrades for sahur with a davulcu [drummer] with the more innovative method of waking our comrades and half the neighbourhood with loud 20th century Afro-American music.

No, you shut the fuck up, Laurenz. It’s Ramadan. We need to get our sahur in before a busy day of communism with nothing to eat or drink.

Some of the songs have been purely inspirational, such as “I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel to Be Free” by Nina Simone, who famously defecated on a microphone. Others, such as Public Enemy’s “Can’t Truss It”, have focused on burning questions such as the veracity of bourgeois imperialist propaganda, or “fake news”, as settler-colonial White AmeriKKKa refers to it.

We are, however, moving into a more theoretical phase of Ramadan as we draw ever closer to Laylat al-Qadr, and thus this morning we woke up to the rousing sound of Charles Mingus’s “Moanin'”.

Some of you may wonder what Charles Mingus’s swinging sound has to do with Marxist theory. To that we say: Rosa Luxemburg.

Yes, Mingus intended his career as a composer of great jazz as an allegorical polemic against both spontaneist and commandist deviations in Marxist political practice. We all know how Mingus was eager to take part in the movement to development jazz composition to a higher level, and took active part in workshops geared towards this goal. However, being a Ryan Gosling-level dialectician, Mingus was quickly disenchanted with the formalist errors of his fellow jazz composers, who rejected any allowance for improvisation in their sheet music. Mingus, on the other hand, understood perfectly well that the dialectic between performer and composer is as central to jazz as it is to the revolutionary science of Marxism-Leninism.

Among Mingus’s most famous outbursts, scarcely less famous than “Itzhak Perlman doesn’t have to put up with this type of shit!”, is the time he stormed out of a workshop and berated his “Trotskyite” colleagues for “imposing vulgar commandism on the revolutionary jazz masses”.

Ever since then, pieces like “Moanin'” haven proven through their numerous recordings and performances by diverse artists Mingus’s ability to compose great jazz of a complex and universal nature, allowing for the dynamic subjectivity of diverse performers in their particular material contexts, without deviating into the Kautskyite spontaneism which characterises that most revisionist of all jazz styles, free jazz.

We hope all comrades have enjoyed this brief lecture on the theoretical importance of Charles Mingus. For our comrades in Vienna, tomorrow’s sahur music and lecture will also centre on the dynamics of the social movement, as expressed in “Stand Up” by Ludacris.

Image source: FablesOfFabus on imgur, captioning Mingus on getting evicted, full quote: “I hope that uh… the communists blow you people up, man. You dig? That’s where I am. Red China.”

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Point/Counterpoint: Theory or Practice?

Praxis

Point: Your theory is bourgeois idealism, stop confusing the proletariat (me)
by Toilers’ Party for Global Freedom representative

Worker’s Spatula, shut the fuck up! Nobody gives a fucking shit about dianetics, nobody fucking knows who Steven Engels is, and for sure nobody fucking cares which part of the social-fascist deMOCKratic “$ociali$t$” of ameriKKKa (d$a) is better than which other part. You need to stop using so many big words to cover up for what you’re doing: spreading social-democratic and reformist views that serve imperialism and pave the way for fascism.

Fuck your propaganda for the Zionist psyop “Rojava” and the social-imperialist Jeremy Corbyn, fuck your stupid reading list which just confuses the proletariat (me), and especially fuck your claim to being anti-revisionist Stalinists when you don’t even uphold the immortal thought of Comrade President Xi. You’re nothing but fucking Trots, with your “movement building” and your “quantitative change” and your “blocking me from your Facebook page”. But what do you have to show for it? Pages and pages of bullshit nobody wants to read because it doesn’t relate to materialism.

While you were spreading your idealism, my party, the Toilers’ Party for Global Freedom, was engaged in real fucking revolutionary practice. We confronted your imperialist Sandersbot friends at some Fight for $15 bullshit, chanting “BERNIE KILLED ROSA” while waving the flag of the ONLY Korea, the North one, and the flag of the only Syrians, the SSNP. We’re fighting fascism in its most dangerous form, as the ANTISOFA front against social-fascism, while you’re all in the library or Melbourne or wherever the fuck you are.

While I can’t organise any workers because of that book Settlers, the one good thing your dumb site has recommended I read, I can say I’m personally doing more for proletarian revolution here in the so-called “United” States than any of you are doing in any country in the world, even if you are organising workers: I’m at the firing range every week, getting ready for the fucking people’s war against UnKKKle $am. I bet that pisses you off, doesn’t it?

More like “Imperialist’s Spatula”.

And stop over-complicating Leninism with your stupid quotes, you revisionists. You may be able to quote a lot of bullshit, but if Lenin were alive today, he’d answer you just as he answered the revisionists in his day with his 11th Thesis: OPPOSE BOOK WORSHIP.

Counterpoint: Stalinist practice is the result of Stalinist theory.
by the only Marxist on the internet

That was a marvelous display of ignorance, typical of Stalinists like the ones who run this sorry excuse for a website which has agreed to host my rebuttal.

I am sure no actual Marxists are even reading this, just the same sort of Stalinists who run this page, but I was promised a case of some truly choice pinot noir in exchange for a counterpoint in defence of Marxist theory, so here we are:

The claims of “revolutionary practice” by Stalinists mirror their claims of defending “actually existing socialism”. This faux-materialism is nothing more than a constellation of vulgar “left”-nationalisms which are bourgeois in the first and final instance, all attempts to dress them up otherwise notwithstanding.

Could you pop open one of those pinot noirs for me? No, no need for a glass, just uncork it and set it down there.

I’m sure Worker’s Spatula were hoping I was simply planning on rebutting the pithy pseudo-revolutionism displayed in the outbursts of this child from the so-called “Toilers’ Party for Global Freedom”. I suspect Worker’s Spatula editors forget all those times they called me a “leftcom waste of oxygen” and “wrecker neo-Trotskyite filth”. Then use me as a hired gun who can be bought off with a few bottles of pinot to gainsay your ideological enemies within the Stalinist movement???

Don’t take that away, I’m still drinking that!

Well, I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t forgotten anything. It’s always you Stalinists who forget things. You forget how many of your heroes wouldn’t be up to your own standards of Marxist theoretical rigour, you’ve forgotten how many un-self-criticised zig-zags and re-un-self-criticised re-zig-re-zags you’ve been responsible for throughout your confused 20th century aborted attempt at marrying assorted “anti-imperialist” bourgeois nationalisms with Marxism predicated on a few out-of-context Marx quotes, and now you’re doing it all over again with 21st century identity politics and whatever unsettled nationalist scores you can still muster in 2018! You fucking hacks! You expect me to treat you any differently from these first day communist kids because you can hobble together some Hegelese? You think I’ll view you as equals because you could hold your own in a debate with Žižek? Anyone with enough coke in their system who’s taken more than one semester of philosophy can pull that off! How long will your fraud go unexposed?

Your future will be the same as all of those who have gone before you, and picking on stupid kids who can’t tell the difference between the Bolshevik Party and Phalangists won’t change that. One day your opportunism will overpower your intellectualism and you’ll be right there next to them, you won’t be joking when you claim Trump is pushing history forward because of some ill-defined “contradictions”, your US comrades will be low-level functionaries in some washed-up post-DSA “popular front”, your German comrades will be little Horst Mahlers, your British comrades will be in the Green Party, your Australian comrades will still be in the Green Party, and any of your Turkish and Kurdish comrades who aren’t dead will be Doğu Perinçek and the PUK, respectively.

I can see the future through my superior understanding of the dialectic of class struggle, “comrades”, and I can tell you in the end everyone will see what frauds and fake Marxists you were, like all the Stalinists before you. One day, history will look back and see that I was the only real Marxist on the internet.

And then maybe, just maybe, someone will read my blog.

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Che Guevara T-Shirt Worn Ironically Ironically Ironically

Che

BUENOS AIRES – Tomás Loggia, medical student at the Universidad de Buenos Aires, recently returned from a trip to Uruguay sporting a Che Guevara t-shirt, on several levels of irony still being calculated by friends and family.

Loggia, who is indeed a Marxist, though not affiliated with the best Marxist organisation in Argentina, the PCR, had purchased the t-shirt with at least three levels of irony in mind:

“I saw a young man in Cordón wearing a Che Guevara shirt, and he looked like such a terrible bourgeois hipster, and I thought, he must be doing it ironically. How funny would it be if I were to buy such a shirt and wear it myself, as a Marxist, making fun of non-Marxists wearing Che Guevara shirts, especially those bourgeois hipsters who are only doing it ironically. And ironically, I’m also bourgeois by class background, and doing a kind of ironic hipster thing, but ironically, I’m a Marxist, but appropriating… I mean… do you see what I did there?”

Loggia’s girlfriend, one Ms. Sofía Bergman, considered it fairly ironic that Loggia thinks anyone would appreciate any levels of irony in his shirt distinct from the level on which Loggia understood the Montevidean hipster’s fashion choice.

“Maybe that’s it?” she offered desperately, “Maybe he’s ironically ironically wearing this ironic t-shirt because he knows no one will appreciate the irony?”

Loggia’s younger brother Sergio pointed out that like the famous revolutionary, his elder brother is studying medicine at UBA, “but is that ironic? Or just a coincidence?”

On a related note, Loggia’s childhood friend Juan Romero [editorial note: no relation] spent about an hour trying to calculate if the t-shirt’s irony will increase, decrease, or remain the same depending on whether Loggia completes his studies and becomes a bourgeois doctor. At time of press, Romero was reading about motor scooters on Wikipedia following a series of Wikipedia tangents.

Others have noted additional levels of irony: Loggia’s maternal aunt noted the irony of her nephew’s ironic purchase as a communist, not because of that stupid misconception that communists purchasing things is somehow “ironic”, but because Loggia is advertising a non-existent guerrilla affiliation as a joke in public in the same city where her first lover was disappeared by the Argentine state on suspicion of working closely with the ERP at a time when Marxists took great care to conceal even the faintest hint of their views and affiliations.

His body has not been recovered to this day.

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Humourless Marxist Reviews: Worker’s Spatula

HMRSpatula

What follows is a Humourless Marxist Review that was originally to be published on Worker’s Spatula – Marxist-Leninist prior to the faction’s reunification with Worker’s Spatula, in which WS–ML reviewed the page from which they had split in terms of our perceived shortcomings. It has been edited so as to not be in ALL CAPS.

Worker’s Spatula is a pompous rag for pseudo-revolutionaries which attempts to cover up its total lack of meaningful intervention into practical politics with a series of jokes so juvenile that even here in Australia they seem a bit insulting to the level of intellectual discourse we expect.

Even where the writers can excuse this total waste of time of a website by making reference to their own political work outside of it, they’re powerless to deny that the overwhelming majority of their readership practise a masturbatory political apathy fueled by depression-anxiety which Worker’s Spatula enable by providing them content with which to obscure their own objective distance from the proletariat and organised politics as such.

Particularly in the US, where most of their readers are.

The page used to do exclusively satire pieces, which, particularly when Australian writers were involved, were occasionally funny. Now they’re trying to reinvent themselves as some sort of lighthearted “platform”, so they don’t even have to make proper jokes anymore. They just write whatever’s on their bloody minds in between classes!

The worst of all their stupid ideas would have to be their “Humourless Marxist Reviews”, which in addition to not being proper satire, couldn’t even really pretend to refer to politics at all. Contrary to what the name implies, they were just stupid jokes about media they hadn’t always even reviewed. These were also the pieces where the “Marxist” analysis was at its thinnest as well. Hopefully they’ll cut that out now that we’ve called them out for it.

They’ve also gone soft on anarchists and Trots lately, particularly since so few of the writers are still in Turkey, the homeland of Marxism-Leninism.

It’s also extremely repetitive. Oh, another piece about your depression, [REDACTED]? Couldn’t have seen that coming. Oh, you’re going to write about the DSA, better mention how the ROL is in charge of it, particularly the Boston branch, for the thousandth time! Oh, another joke about Trump being a communist who’s trying to delegitimise bourgeois democracy and US imperialism and “accelerate the contradictions”? PICK A NEW FUCKING JOKE, YOU HACKS.

Hey, here’s a joke for you: what’s the US equivalent of RaFFWU, the fighting trade union for fast food workers here in Australia? You’d never know from reading Worker’s Spatula, a site with mostly US readers named after the fact that its founders all worked in fast food at some point in their lives, although clearly not any single one of their writers based in the US at present!

All in all, you can see why we left. The only Marxist publication in the English language which has less potential to meaningfully raise up the general theoretical level of internet Marxists and offer an inventive new way to practically intervene in the organising of the next generation of revolutionaries… is all of them.

Give it up now, you cunts.

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Leninism or Liechtensteinism?

BankFrick

The question “Leninism or Liechtensteinism?” might seem absurd to ask now, almost two decades into the 21st century, since such an ideological debate might, at first glance, appear to be a horse long since beaten to death in a harsh display of animal cruelty that will hopefully cause currently non-vegan readers to consider veganism. Innumerable tracts and books have already been written on the subject, and Leninism appears to have lost the Cold War to Liechtenstein. Accordingly, many might assume that, in 2018, there is simply not reason to even consider the role that Liechtenstein or Leninism play in the world-system, let alone what relationship they have to one another.

This would be a grave mistake, like reading Althusser, or speaking to anyone who reads Althusser. Liechtenstein and Liechtensteinism are alive and well, and a real threat to Leninism, the revolutionary ideology which, grasped properly, can guide us to the liberation of all humanity.

For this reason, Worker’s Spatula are dedicating considerable resources, including human resources, to fighting the scourge of Liechtenstein. We do this in concrete practice, on the front lines with our guerrilla forces in Sevelen and Feldkirch, who have long been a thorn in the side of the Liechtenstein authorities with their daring cross-border raids in which cattle and sheep are confiscated and anti-Hans-Adam II graffiti is left on the walls of Ch. Gerster AG and FL Logistik and other such shitty little Liechtensteiner businesses which are the cogs in the Liechtensteiner imperialist machine.

But as history has shown so many times, armed struggle is nothing without thorough theoretical-ideological struggle. In that vein, we must continue the fight against Liechtensteinism in all its forms, in the socialist movement and around the world!

What is Liechtenstein?

Strangled by Catholic conservatism, Liechtenstein is the sort of country where women only received the right to vote in 1984. This, however, matters little, as voting rights in Liechtenstein are very close to meaningless, with almost all elected officials being hand-selected by the Liechtenstein royal family, who get the first and last say in all foreign and domestic policy in the first place, a role that goes largely unquestioned by the petty bourgeoisie and labour aristocracy of Liechtenstein because they are bought off by the vast riches expropriated by Liechtensteiner imperialism, the most powerful imperialism in the world in terms of soft and hard power. Liechtenstein has military bases all over the world disguised as “US bases” or “Chinese bases”, no one should be fooled: Liechtenstein is playing all imperialist powers off of each other for their own gains as the chief imperialist power in the world.

In addition to being the head of global imperialism, the sinister banking capital which holds the puppet strings of the capitalist world-system, Liechtenstein is also the last bastion of pure, unapologetic Nazism in the German-speaking world. Where other German-speaking countries at least formally apologise for the crimes of the Nazi era, Liechtenstein proudly displays statues honouring Russian Nazi soldiers who they protected from communist justice. From primary school onwards, every Liechtensteiner child is taught that Adolf Hitler was a great leader (almost as great as their own Führer, Hans-Adam II), and that the Holocaust was justified because it was very profitable for their banking system, and of course for the royal family headed by the tyrant Hans-Adam II.

The Liechtensteiner royal family’s crimes are almost too numerous to list. South Africa, Namibia, the Congo: almost every horrific colonial crime against Africa was carried out with the open monetary support and covert military support of Liechtenstein’s bloodthirsty ruling family, who in most cases ordered these crimes to be carried out to protect their profits. The Zionist colonisation of Palestine, the Holocaust, the creation of the CIA, all of these and more were carried out under the watchful eye of agents of the Liechtensteiner royal family. None of these have been apologised for or even acknowledged by the fascist Hans-Adam II.

Few people realise this, but the market fundamentalist Ayn Rand spent the last few years of her life in abject poverty, having been abandoned by almost all of her wealthy reactionary friends. In her hour of need, the Liechtensteiner royal family subsidised all her living expenses to make sure that the “philosopher of Liechtenstein ideology” was cared for. It should therefore come as little surprise that Liechtenstein was behind the creation of Bitcoin, not only for its banking potential, but also because it wastes all that energy on Bitcoin mining, which is bad for the environment and stuff.

What are some manifestations of Liechtensteinism?

Astute readers may have noticed that no other Marxist publication dares speak out against Liechtenstein’s crimes as boldly as we at Worker’s Spatula do. This is no coincidence. Almost all so-called “Marxists” around the world are revisionist agents of Liechtenstein themselves, and the rest cower in fear at the idea of provoking Liechtenstein’s wrath. Stefan Engel personally entrusted Worker’s Spatula with the task of exposing Liechtenstein to the world on behalf of ICOR. This piece is but one example of our efforts in this field.

Liechtenstein does not merely attempt to muzzle the communists from speaking out against them, it actively seeks to reshape “Marxism” in its own image. This trend may be termed “Liechtensteinism”, and examples of it are many. The easiest place to start is in Liechtenstein itself, with the scoundrel Pepo Frick, a member of the family behind the Liechtenstein bank carrying out direct investment in the cryptocurrencies personally pioneered and promoted by Hans-Adam II, including Bitcoin.

Despite his ‘leftist’ posturing, Pepo Frick is entirely uncritical of Liechtenstein’s retrograde monarchy, fascist apologetics, imperialist reach, and capitalism itself. His group, the so-called “Free List” stands for nothing more than the strengthening of the Liechtensteiner state on “social” grounds, a revisionist stance if ever there was one!

But this revisionist line, that socialism is statism and socialism simply means “more state” (indeed more of the bourgeois state!), is by no means limited to Liechtenstein itself. Recently declassified documents reveal that Liechtenstein intelligence agents were behind the confusion during the late Cultural Revolution era in China which led to the rise of the arch-revisionist Deng Xiaoping to power in that country, resulting in the restoration of capitalism we witness today.

The fact that thousands of revisionists around the world defend Chinese “socialism” as socialism is in fact proof of how numerous the agents of Liechtenstein are, even within our movement! Although they pose themselves as “for the state against the market” in opposition to the ideology of Ayn Rand and Liechtenstein which is “for the market against the state”, they are all of them objective agents of the bourgeois state and defenders of the market, whether in Liechtenstein or China!

How can Liechtenstein and Liechtensteinism be combatted?

In addition to joining the campaign of sabotage being carried out from the border areas of Austria and Switzerland, guided by our comrades of the Revolutionary Organisation of Liechtenstein (operating from within the belly of the beast!), there are many things comrades around the world can do to contribute to this struggle.

Firstly, you can rededicate yourselves to the study of Marxist-Leninist theory, so as to be able to sharply demarcate between yourself and the Trojan horse within our movement: revisionist Liechtensteinism.

Secondly, you can expose all enemies of the people, all reactionaries and fascists, all imperialists and chauvinists, in short, all oppressors as agents of Liechtensteiner imperialism. Do not allow Liechtenstein to hide their crimes around the world! From Palestine to Kashmir to Greece to Australia, not a single political crime against the poor and oppressed without the bloody fingerprints of Liechtenstein being found at the scene!

Consequently, you must unite all toilers, all oppressed, all workers, all strugglers in every field of struggle in defence of each of their liberation and their common liberation. Unity of the poor and oppressed in struggle is the single greatest fear of Liechtensteiner imperialism, and together the masses of toiling humanity can bring Liechtenstein to its knees!

Liechtenstein must be destroyed! Death to Pepo Frick!

Workers and oppressed peoples of the world, unite!

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