BOSTON – Following news of famous judgerman Antonin Scalia’s death, the central committee of the editorial staff of Worker’s Spatula hastily convened to choose a successor that the American people could be proud of. Someone who could make the Supreme Court great again.
Of course, Worker’s Spatula supports Bob Avakian in this historic moment.
Bob Avakian™s Revolutionary™ New Synthesis™ of Communism™™™ is the answer to the jurisprudential crisis which is so strongly felt by the peoples of the United States at present, as it is the answer to all problems in life.
Worker’s Spatula is confident that faced with any legal case, Bob Avakian will deliver a just ruling, consisting of throwing out the case and advocating a new legal system, and indeed, a new social system, based on a cult of personality around his personage.
Worker’s Spatula would like to emphasise that while it did choose Bob Avakian to endorse for this important task because he is some kind of freaky Maoist, he was not our first choice for freaky Maoist Supreme Court Justice. Obviously, if possible, we would have endorsed Chairman Mao himself, and our second choice would have been Ghanaian leader Kwame Nkrumah, who at least had a cool Mao-like book of quotations.
Even among living US Maoists, we had briefly considered APSP Chairman Omali Yeshitela, who has a better book of quotations than Chairman Bob. However, it was eventually determined that President Obama’s fear of black militancy would render him less likely to follow our advice if it was to appoint Chairman Omali.
We expect that, following our endorsement, Chairman Bob will be appointed as the newest Supreme Court Justice of the United States. Failure to comply with our most reasonable request will result in the full force of Bob Avakian’s people’s army being unleashed upon military targets across the United States. You have been warned.
Image credit: Doing the BAsics with Bob Avakian