ADELAIDE – Ex-CPA member and local piece of shit Mick Anderson has resurfaced in the activist scene after months of conspicuous absence following allegations of physical abuse of his then-girlfriend, [REDACTED].
Local CPA cadre were quick to distance themselves from Anderson, who, in further proof of the ubiquity of contradiction, has apparently distanced himself from the CPA on grounds of their “revisionism”.
Following Worker’s Spatula’s own assessment of the CPA as having deviated from an essential Marxist analytical method, we sought to gain impressions from locals in Adelaide to determine the dynamics of theoretical discourse in which this abuser seeks to position himself.
“Yeah he says China is capitalist now, but he never said anything like that even during his last days with us,” explained local CPA representative Jack Vogt, “he definitely didn’t split with us over theory, even if that’s what he says. The last time we saw him was the night of the incident, when [REDACTED] called [REDACTED] over to help protect her. Now he pops up talking like CPA(ML) or something, maybe he’s with them now? They call us ‘revisionists’ constantly.”
CPA(ML) representative Chelsea Greene denied Anderson’s affiliation with their organisation: “we were in brief contact, but he’s not interested in Mao Zedong Thought or our criticisms of economic development in China at all. He mostly just complains about Chinese immigrants to Australia.”
“Yeah,” concurred Adelaide anarchist John Balendra. “He really hates immigrants. He’s really REALLY strongly opposed to migrant solidarity work. Says it’s ‘a plot by the bourgeoisie’.”
“It would help if he read Engels on immigrant labour in Manchester a century ago, or anything at all,” interjected Greene. “But when I said that to him, he said ‘you Maoists are all just anarchists anyway, you need to tank down in Tank Town’. We’ve got a committee working on decoding that one.”
“Yeah he keeps saying LGBT people and Rojava and feminism and everything else is ‘post-modern’ or ‘crypto-anarchism’. Really good at reminding me why I’m an anarchist, I suppose”, concluded Balendra.
Deciding we had to confront Anderson himself, we found him in a local drinking establishment, half-pissed and barely past lunch. Our correspondent launched into a series of rapidly delivered critical questions about Anderson’s past behaviour and present isolation within the Australian socialist movement:
“It’s all LIES, SLANDER, LIBEL, what they say about me. I’ll tell you what, why they don’t, what they don’t like about me!” exclaimed Anderson, whose surly voice seemed to fill the entire pub, itself otherwise empty. “They’ve all been fooled by the post-modernists and the Trots and the anarchists, with their BULLSHIT theories! Me? I’m a real Stalinist, I’m all about the FACTS of working class, who I’m organising! I’m in a bloody union! What do you do?”
“RaFFWU? Real cute, sweetheart. Do you know how much I have to lift every day? Look at me muscles! I’M THE BLOODY WORKING CLASS! BLOODY… BLOODY, SWEATY, TEARSY! MARXISM-LENINISM! MARXISM-LENINISM! MARXISM-LENINISM! MARXISM-LENINISM!” he bellowed loudly enough for passers-by to hear from outside the pub.
“You’re a fucking labour aristocracy, is what you are!” he screamed, throwing his beer to the floor and lunging for our correspondent, who made a quick move for the door.
To be continued…
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