OCCUPIED EAST JERUSALEM – Following controversy surrounding his controversial attendence of the funeral of former Israeli President Shimon Peres, Arab social media have had their worst suspicions confirmed upon discovering that Mahmoud Abbas even cried at the funeral of Shimon Peres, who, in addition to being responsible for countless crimes against the Palestinians and Lebanese, was also not above spilling the blood of his co-nationals, as he was the one who had Yitzhak Rabin assassinated.
We repeat: Shimon Peres had Yitzhak Rabin assassinated, and then presided over the conversion of the peace process into another means of normalising perpetual occupation.
“Did I cry at the Isra-EElee bresident’s funeral? Yes. Because Mr. Beres was my best friend. He was my only friend. Sometimes I would sit on the edge of my bed late at night and call him, and we would talk for hours about our hobes and dreams.
“We had so much in common. We both enjoyed the same brothels in Morocco, the same hotels in Dubai, the same big Machers we bit our tongues in front of, a similar battalion of lackeys who bit their tongues in front of us. It was lonely at the tob, but we had each other. Now I have no one. Even my family votes for Hamas behind my back.”
The PFLP have released their own statement in response to the latest chapter in the romance between Fatah and “liberal Zionism”:
“While the imperialist bourgeoisie joins the traitor Mahmoud Abbas in mourning the passing of Shimon Peres, we know that militant communists around the world stand in solidarity with the oppressed Palestinian people instead, and mourn all of our martyrs. Abbas can say that he lost his only friend, but we know that we still have a friend in Stefan Engel.
“Although this is a written statement, we wish to assure the reader that at this juncture Stefan Engel appeared in the room where it was being written and bumped fists with us.”