Bob Avakian Wearing a Balaclava Now

BobAvakianCornelWest

NEW YORK – Bob Avakian is apparently appearing in public wearing a balaclava now, and quite often smoking a pipe. Sources within the RCPUSA can neither confirm nor deny any connection between the chairman’s new appearance and the recent announcement that all charges by the Mexican state against EZLN commander Subcomandante Marcos have been dropped due to the statute of limitations laws in that country.

The move, which the CPUSA condemned as “not something the Democratic Party would approve of”, is expected to increase Bob Avakian’s popularity among Chicanos who are already members of the RCPUSA.

Sources in New York were divided on the new choice, with genius theoretician and New School professor Andrew Arato stating: “Everything except my academic publications is adventurism. This applies to the movements of national liberation for the Palestinians and the Kurds, and it applies to whatever it is Bob Avakian does.”

RCPUSA member Raymond Lotta, well known for having a superior moustache to Andrew Arato, disagreed, stating: “Everything Chairman Avakian does draws him closer to the Chicano masses in the United States, whether it is wearing their traditional folk costume or supporting Ted Cruz against Trumpite fascism. Bob Avakian is my daddy.”

RCPUSA sources were also unable to confirm or deny rumours that Bob Avakian is planning to run for the office of President of the United Mexican States on a platform of “a chicken in every pot and a new synthesis for every contradiction”.

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