Yr Aflonyddwch Mawr Revealed as Worker’s Spatula Fabrication

WeDidThis

CARDIFF – “Marxist-Leninist-Maoist” organisations across Western Europe were shocked to learn that the organisation which had been in touch with them under the name “Yr Aflonyddwch Mawr” does not actually exist, having been set up prior to Worker’s Spatula by some of the original Worker’s Spatula writers as a foil for jokes about Welsh people’s war.

A group of Norwegian and French Maoists, intrigued by the group’s existence thanks to Worker’s Spatula’s references to them in their coverage of British politics, travelled to Wales to meet with representatives of “the Welsh Socialist Republican Movement” and Welsh Maoism.

“We expected some level of secrecy, since Marxism-Leninism-Maoism is a political tradition that actively preaches armed struggle as a ‘universal truth’,” explained Norwegian Maoist “Kjell” to our Cardiff correspondent. “So when ordinary Welsh people pretended to have never heard of Yr Aflonyddwch Mawr, the Great Unrest, or the Welsh Socialist Republican Party, we weren’t surprised.”

“We got our first lead when we mentioned the name at the Plaid Cymru office, and a young man wearing a Worker’s Spatula t-shirt, a red bandana across his face, and dark sunglasses stood up and bolted out of the office,” French militant “Fatima” recounted. “He escaped between some nearby fishmongers’ stalls, but we got the idea to ask a man selling bream for help. Fortunately, he trusted us. We were led down a shadowy network of bream sellers, fishers, and inviduals otherwise involved in the bream trade. Several sheep were shagged in front of us, and even by some of our comrades in order to earn their trust.”

“It was horrible,” confirmed “Pierre”. “I never wanted to shag that sheep, and I was worried the Welsh could tell, so I shagged it multiple times and in various positions so it would be convincing.”

“We found a lot of red flags and graffiti in weird locations, but we never found a rally or a meeting of any sort. The trail went cold in a small village on the Isle of Anglesey near Llanfairpwllgwyngyll,” continued “Fatima”. “An old man there saw us staring at some of the flags and graffiti and he started talking to us. We didn’t understand much of what he said, so we had to procure a Welsh to English interpreter, named Rhys. It turns out he was speaking English, but just had a ridiculous accent, but Rhys was kind enough to interpret anyway.”

“He said that the graffiti and flags had been put up by some Turks and Germans who had rolled into town, blasting American rap music and talking loudly about dialectics. Well we all know who that is. That’s you lot,” said Pierre, pointing an accusing and frankly awful-smelling finger at our correspondent as he finished his tale of woe.

“Yeah, so we did it. We made up a Marxist-Leninist-Maoist group in Wales for a laugh,” responded our correspondent. “But so what? Dych chi ddim yn angen grŵp Maoaidd Cymreig. Oedd maoaeth go iawn ynoch ar hyd!”

Plaid Cymru Kî ne?

KurdistanWales

BANGOR, WÊLZ – Îro em di cîhaneke pir xeternak de dijîn. Dema dewleta faşîst a Tirk êrîş dike li ser gelê Kurd û li ser îradeya siyasî ya hemû hêzên pêşverû yên Anatoliya û Mezopotamyayê, gelên Birîtaniya jî tê dikoşin li hemberî hêzên faşîst ên David Cameron, serokwezîrê Birîtaniyayê ku birazek niya.

Ji ber ku piştgirî bi Îrlendiyan re îşê Filistîniyan e, divê Worker’s Spatula piştgirî navbera gelên Kurd û Wêlzî bilind bike.

A rastî, ji aliyê Wêlzî piştgiriya bi gelê Kurd re normal bû. Hevalên me yên Kurd in ku hê nizanin Wêlzî kî ne. Di Wêlzê de gelek Qomunîst hene, bi taybetî ji Partiya Qomunîst a Birîtaniyayê, CPB. CPB mîna TKEP/L ye, lê selehên wan tune. Di rojnameya CPBê, “Morning Star” (bi Kurdî “Ferec”*), gelek meqaleyên li ser mezinahiya têkoşîna PYD li hemberî çeteyên DEÎŞ hatine nivîsîn.

Li gundên Wêlzî, komeke Maoîst a pir piçûk heye, bi navê Yr Aflonddwch Mawr. Bi Wêlzî wateya vî navî heye, lê em nizanin çi ye, çimkî me nikaribû Ferhengeke Kurdî-Wêlzî bibînin. Bi kurtî û Kurmancî, Yr Aflonddwch Mawr ji Îbrahîm Kaypakkaya hez dikin, loma ew jî ji bo gelê Kurd baş in.

Îsal li hilbijartinên Birîtanî, li gorî hilbijartinên paşerojê, bêhtir Wêlziyan Plaid Cymru hilbijart. Ev girîng e, çimkî Plaid Cymru PKK ya Wêlziyan e, û em hêvîdar in ku li pêşerojê Wêlz ji Birîtaniyayê derkeve. Dema kantonên Wêlzê hatine avakirin, hereketa Kurdî dikare selehan ji wan bikirin ji bo têkoşîna li hemberî dewletên kedxwar.

Karker û gelên bindest ên cîhanê, hevgirin!

*Navê rojnameya “Morning Star” ji bo koma metal a Kurdî bi heman navî hat hilbijartin, û rojnamevanên “Morning Star”, heman wekî rojnamevanên Worker’s Spatula, her guhdariya muzîka Ferec’ê dikin.