Debate on EU Membership Heats up: “Lenin said a lot of things”


LONDON – As the debate on EU membership heats up, members of the British ICOR affiliate Party of Labour (Welsh: Partija Rada) have been thrown into confusion by Jeremy Corbyn switching sides on this crucial issue. Cadres across Britain are engaged in fierce discussion which includes no small amount of personal polemic. A Worker’s Spatula correspondent was witness to one such discussion in a pub.

“Petty bourgeois reformism!” declared Red London member Victoria Barry as she paused from her lager to respond to her comrade John Armstrong’s assessment of the EU as a force for positive change in British labour laws. “At best, Comrade Corbyn is only taking this position tactically so that those less advanced sectors of the British proletariat cannot be scared away from our party by Tory propaganda over this issue. At worst, you’re both guilty of modern… er… post-modern revisionism!”

Armstrong defended himself with what appeared to be a trump card: “On the subject of revisionism, do you want to be in the trenches with not only UKIP, but George Galloway?”

A murmur of agreement spread across the table at the mention of the hated Galloway.

“Anyone can make that argument. Literally ANYONE can, because Galloway’s position on this or any other matter of EU policy is subject to change at the drop of his rather silly hat. Like his painfully beardless hero, Mao Zedong, he is guilty of constant zig-zags in policy. If Corbyn and Galloway switch places, it should be irrelevant to us. The question is what Comrade Lenin would say about the EU,” retorted Barry.

“Lenin said a lot of things,” Armstrong responded before rising to purchase another beer.

Barry returned to her own beer, tears in her eyes, before placing headphones in her ears and putting on an INLA song on her smartphone’s mp3 player.

“We’re the INLA… freedom fighters…” she crooned off-key while glaring after Armstrong.

At press time, almost everyone at the table had been declared a “scoundrel” by someone else, and several individuals were declared to be the agents of various imperialist powers, “out to sabotage the British revolution”.